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Open Question: Really overwhelmed and don't know what to do?
I hope this isn't too long but I'm sorry if it ends up being that way. I'm a 16 year old female. I am constantly, constantly anxious. There isn't a day that goes by where I'm not heavily panicking or in tears from the thoughts of things that could go wrong. I'm in the top 1% of my grade and have never been close to failing but thinking about school makes me worry that I'll get a bad grade and the sheer thought of this makes me really upset. I don't know why I feel that way; my parents have never pushed me to do well academically. Whenever I call a parent or see them and they aren't in a good mood or they don't andwer I automatically think I've done something wrong and panic while thinking of all of the things I could have done wrong for them to be upset. The motives of others freak me out and I always feel like everyone is trying to sabotage me. That alone is sort of stressful, so I haven't had any friends since maybe the 6th grade.
I really don't know what to do. I can't focus during the day and at night I can't sleep..I'm constantly thinking about "what ifs". I'm starting to have my hair fall out from the stress of this. I want to talk to my dad about it because this is getting so much worse and I don't talk to my mom as we don't live together or are very close; I'm really worried to talk to him, though. My mom has anxiety disorders along with other mental illnesses and the last thing I want to do is cause my dad to think I'm turning out like her. I don't want to be anything like her and I'm scared of disappointing him by telling him this. I'm also worried he'll just tell me to relax or that he'll get suspicious and think I have a reason to feel this way; if I could stop feeling like this and just relax, I would. Breathing, meditation, clearing my mind don't work and I have no rational reason to feel how I do. But I don't know where else to turn at this point. I don't know how much worse this can get..
What should I do? Thank you in advance.
I posted this in mental health originally but they're all suggesting to drink tea (which makes me ill) and other natural remedies but I've felt like this for around 6-7 years and I'm not really looking for that. I sort of am more looking for advice on if I should talk to my dad and what I should say. :/.
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